Hey! My spooky Halloween cocktail, Red Rum, is featured in the current issue of BUST Magazine. You know it: It’s the one with Sarah Silverman on the cover. And even though I probably shouldn’t, I’m sharing it here because I’m a fucking nice person, and you know, content, SEO, yadda-yadda, blah-blah-blah. Plus, I wanted you to get a good look at that bitters murder scene I created.
Anyway, whether you’re hosting a haunted get-together or just want something boozy to sip while you avoid the neighborhood kids and watch scary movies alone in the dark, you should most definitely treat yourself to a Red Rum or two on Halloween. A spicier take on a classic Dark and Stormy, it’s made with spiced rum and ginger beer, but instead of the traditional lime wedge, it’s garnished with a round orange slice and a clove (to resemble a pumpkin, of course). For a frightening finishing touch, it gets doused with blood (er, Peychaud’s Bitters).
It’s a little spooky, pretty spicy, and balanced enough to be your go-to drink this fall. And I know I’m just giving you this entire amazing recipe for free, but you should still totally pick up the current issue of BUST to support independent feminist publishing and give cool chicks (cats? thirty-something tattooed moms?) like me something fun to read. I wrote for BUST, like, a decade ago, so I’m all kinds of excited to have one of my recipes grace its pages again.
Makes 2 cocktails
4 ounces dark, spiced rum
2 whole cloves
Cut two round slices out of the orange that are slightly smaller than the rim of your stemless wine glasses and set aside. Add a single squeeze of orange juice to the bottom of each glass along with a quick dash of bitters. Add two ounces of rum to each glass, followed by a handful of ice. Fill the glasses almost to the top with ice-cold ginger beer, and stir gently. Put the pointy end of one clove into the center of each orange slice, then gently place a slice, clove side up, on the top of each cocktail. Just before serving, generously douse the orange slices with more bitters.
A note on the ginger beer: Be sure to use a flavorful one, and definitely don’t try to substitute ginger ale — otherwise you’ll end up with some watered-down shit that doesn’t taste very fun or festive.
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In case you haven’t noticed, it’s fall. And not only is it fall, it’s already October. I’m not sure how the fuck that happened, but we’re mere weeks away from Halloween and I can already taste the two sticks of butter I put in my Thanksgiving stuffing. But back to this month. To get us in the mood, I’ve mixed up a spooky rum drink, The Little Zombie, a perfect Halloween cocktail. Actually, it’s not spooky at all and I think the original Zombie is only called that because if you drink half of one you’ll be stumbling around like a real-life fucking zombie.
That’s because, according to David Wondrich, the perfect Zombie is made with white rum, dark rum, golden rum, and 151-proof rum. Luckily, he and I are in agreement that it’s also not very good. And really — who the fuck needs four kinds of rum in one drink? Your drunk uncle who combined the dregs of various airplane bottles with some flat RC Cola before passing out in a pile of his own vomit and piss?
My Little Zombie cocktail is a much more reasonable take on the original, and it’s made with exactly one kind of rum: the good kind. While digging through my liquor cabinet, I found an unopened bottle of Diplomático Reserva Exclusiva. The brand sent it to me least a year ago, but since I never really got into rum (thanks to horrible hangover memories associated with a night of too many rum and Diet Cokes when I was 19) I let it collect dust for a while (sorry!). Well, no more. This shit is good. Like, I-can-sip-it good.
While my Little Zombie is a reasonable take on the original, it’s still strong. Most cocktails call for two ounces of base booze, but this one gets three. I mean, it has to earn its Zombie name somehow, right? The rum gets a good shake with a little pineapple juice, lime juice, and simple syrup, and I garnish it with mint and a lime wheel. For the picture, I also put a bourbon-soaked cherry on it, because Halloween is all about disgusting shit, right? And while this could totally be considered a tiki cocktail, I love that it’s not too sweet. Because I just don’t do overly sweet drinks.
The Little Zombie Halloween Cocktail
3 ounces dark rum
1 ounce fresh-squeezed lime juice
½ ounce pineapple juice
½ ounce simple syrup
Lime wheel, mint, or whatever the fuck for garnish
Add the ingredients to a cocktail shaker filled with ice. Shake well, then strain into an Old-Fashioned or lowball glass filled at least halfway with crushed ice. Garnish with a lime wheel, some mint, or whatever, and enjoy.
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Oh, hi. Me again. (Of course it’s fucking me, this is my blog.) As I mentioned earlier this summer, I found myself without studio mates and instead of getting new ones, decided to make up the lost income by offering female-centric workshops in my big, beautiful space. Now shit’s changed and I’ve crossed over to the dark side of gainful employment and may even have to give up my perfect studio, but the event isn’t going anywhere anytime soon (well, it may go to another physical location in the new year if I can’t find anyone to rent desks from me, but it’s not going away-away). Luckily, Kansas City is full of badass, inspiring women, and for the fourth Creativity + Cocktails event, I’m thrilled to have Emily Reinhardt, The Object Enthusiast as the featured speaker. Emily’s gorgeous ceramics are sold in shops around the country, and are even available from Anthropologie. If I could, I’d just fill my home with her beautiful things. (And after the event, I probably will and then my husband and I will get in a big fight about my shopping problem.)
After a moderated Q&A with Emily, we’ll chat about our own projects, brainstorm, and support each other in our creative and business endeavors. It will be part learning, part networking, part big-idea workshop, part cocktail party, and all sorts of women lifting up and inspiring other women.
Now, please keep in mind that I generally hate the term “networking” and I use the terms “creative” and “professional” very loosely. Don’t be scared off by them! If you make something, or want to make something, or make money at making something, or are trying to make money at making something, or have an idea of how you might like to make money making something someday, that all counts! Whether you’re looking for a little inspiration, have an idea that could use some feedback, or just want to spend an evening mingling and having a few drinks with some fabulous local females (sorry, dudes), this event series is for you! And it’s for me. As I’ve mentioned many times, I’m great at ideas and making pretty shit, but terrible at business things and money. (And I want ALL THE ADVICE on having a full-time job and a toddler and a husband and two dogs and maintaining a fucking fun side hustle and maybe also not letting my house turn into a disgusting den of filth.)
Anyway, there are only 20 tickets available (and the first three events sold out in about one day) so get yours now and I’ll see you at my studio on November 15!
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I’m headed to the lake for a big family weekend today — which in my family, of course, means lots of drinking. Usually everyone just pounds whatever’s around, but for the last few gatherings, I’ve been mixing up big-ass batches of the good shit. (It’s really the least I can do when other people are entertaining my kid.) For my dad’s 65th birthday party in July, it was my sparkling basil-mint whiskey lemonade. But I’ve been so busy being a legitimately employed person lately, I hadn’t even thought about what I’d make for this weekend.
That is, until I got a text from my sister: “Emily, David wants you to come up with a good drink if you can.” If I can! If I can? Ha. Clearly, “David” is not on social media and doesn’t read my blog. (Note: Both of those statements are true and I have no idea why I felt so compelled to put his name in quotation marks when his name is very much David, but it just felt right there.) Well, “David” likes whiskey, and so do I. So I thought, “What’s a good batch whiskey cocktail for fall?” It took me about two seconds to come up with the answer.
It’s last week’s cocktail, the Early Fall Lowball, a spicy (and only ever-so-slightly sweet) chai tea-based drink. Not only is it perfect for making in batches, it’s a great drink to make ahead of time because it doesn’t have any carbonation. Plus, letting it sit in the fridge for a night or three is the next best thing to shaking the shit out of it — since nobody I know has a three-liter cocktail shaker.
For the tea, you’ll want to boil a little more water than you’ll need, since some of it will evaporate. And this recipe calls for double-strength chai, which is 8 ounces of tea brewed with two bags instead of one, or one bag per 4 ounces. So for this recipe, if my math is correct (and it could be totally off) you need 12 chai tea bags for 6 cups of double-strength tea. (Is that right? Fuck, math is hard.) I used the Bigelow Spiced Chai Tea and it was wonderful, though I’m sure any quality chai would do.
Now, is this technically still a lowball if it’s made it batches? I don’t fucking know. Just pour it into a lowball glass, or one of these classy-ass “Cut Crystal” plastic cups from Chinet when you’re ready to party. Close enough, right?
A Big-Ass Batch of the Early Fall Lowball
Yield: About 3 Liters
6 cups double-strength* chai tea, chilled
6 cups whiskey
1.5 cups Grand Marnier
72 dashes Peychaud’s Bitters
Add all of the ingredients to a large drink dispenser, pot, or whatever the hell else will hold three liters of booze, and stir really fucking well. If you aren’t serving it immediately or storing it in a dispenser in the fridge, store it in airtight containers in the fridge until you’re ready to serve it. When it’s time to drink, give it a good shake, then pour it into a lowball glass over ice. Enjoy!
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Huge news! Maybe you’ve already heard? It’s officially fucking fall! Like, for real — on the calendar and in the air. We even turned off our air conditioning yesterday (though I may have to turn it back on later this week, because I’m a horrible steward of the earth who literally can’t stand the heat) and I probably could have worn a light jacket last night. A JACKET. To celebrate this blessing from Mother Nature, I present your Halloween-themed printable October 2017 calendar, available now as a free digital download.
This calendar might look slightly familiar, because aren’t all calendars just a bunch of blank boxes that make you feel like, hey, this is going to be a new month, maybe I can take a deep breath…until you start writing down shit and get to, like, the second Tuesday and realize that you’re never going to have time to get a pedicure ever again? So, yeah, it may also look familiar because I am super fucking busy now that I have a job-job. I borrowed a few elements from the August calendar, but I also added some other stuff that’s supposedly spooky, like droopy pines and bats and shit.
So, the calendar is free. The only catch — of course there’s a catch; we’re on the internet in 2017! — is that you need to “buy” the digital file from my store. But you don’t have to pay any money or give any credit card info or anything like that. And I promise I won’t sell your email address, or stalk you (unless you’re, like, a super-cool Instagram mom who will make me feel inadequate every time you post). I just need to track downloads and shit, and maybe someday I’ll even send a newsletter. (But, like, do people even still open those?) Also, I think if you create an account it makes it really easy to download it next time.
In exchange for this free item from my shop, the only thing I ask is that you follow me on Instagram. ‘Cause it’s about to get fall AF up in there. Who am I kidding? It already has. As I’ve mentioned probably 77 times in various places, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and also the official holiday of Festive AF. So just you wait. And here’s the link one more time in case you missed it, and now you may carry on with downloading your very own printable October 2017 calendar.
And, really, don’t forget to follow me on Instagram. (We’re on the honor system here. Don’t be a dick.)