More Festive Shit You Can Actually Make: Gold String Lights

posted in: Christmas, Crafts, Holidays | 0

string lights with a gold cordWhy the fuck are all the string light cord options green, white, and black? I’m over it. I mean, not ALL string lights go on trees or hang outside in the dark. Don’t Christmas light cord manufacturers look at fucking Pinterest? Well, they don’t know that all us bitches want everything to be shiny and brass and gold, but I do. And if you want some fucking string lights with a gold cord, you need this DIY. It’s super easy, and makes for a much more festive indoor holiday decoration than boring-ass dark green.

What You’ll Need

For this ridiculously easy project, you’ll need string lights, a little bit of newspaper or paper towel, gold spray paint, and tape. I really like the Krylon Short Cuts for craft projects — they don’t drip or clog and they’re just really fucking easy to use. I use one called Gold Leaf (it’s the same one I used for the smaller one of my DIY “brass” hanging planters).

string lights with a gold cordAs far as lights, I used these cheap-o lights from Target with a randomly sage-ish green cord (they were on clearance, clearly not a popular color, and apparently you can also get them in blue — whyyyyyy?), but you can do this with just about any strand of string lights that has a plastic cord. Use big lights, little lights, white lights, multi-colored lights — you do you. But as you can probably imagine, it’s going to be way easier and a lot less time consuming with a strand of 25 big lights as opposed to 100 tiny lights.
string lights with a gold cordFirst, you’ll want to carefully remove and set aside the bulbs (and I’m serious about the careful part; that shit is fragile). Then stuff paper towel, cotton ball, newspaper, toilet paper, or whatever into the light sockets. Definitely make sure there’s enough paper product in there to cover any of the contact points, but don’t stuff them so full the rim of the socket won’t get spray paint. I also decided to rip the little clips off the outside of the sockets, but you may not need to worry about that with your lights. Or maybe it just wouldn’t bother you; I didn’t want to have to paint in and around the clips since I didn’t really need them.

string lights with a gold cordBefore you start spray painting (or if you forget and get to the end of the strand and remember then — oops!) tape off the actual plug prongs so those doesn’t get sprayed, either. I’m not sure what would happen if the metals from the spray paint got on the plug and then it got plugged into the wall, but I’m fairly certain it would be some Christmas Vacation shit and I don’t really want to find out this year.

string lights with a gold cordThe next step — if you’re not a dumbass like me — would be to change into your painting clothes and shoes so you can efficiently spray paint and probably complete this job with one small can of spray paint. Or, if you decide to stay in your expensive Madewell Jeans and new Tom’s booties and spray very, very inefficiently, you may end up needing about three cans for one string of lights. Up to you, really.
string lights with a gold cordSo, next, you spray the cord and sockets. If you’re dressed appropriately, you can hold it up to make sure you get all the way around and in the nooks and crannies. Or if you’re very inappropriately dressed for spray painting, you can put it down on something, spray from really far away and wait for it to dry on one side before you turn it spray on the other side (and repeat about four times because you really don’t want to mess up those expensive black jeans).
string lights with a gold cordOnce everything is dry, pull out the paper you stuffed up in the guts of those sockets (it’s easy work with tweezers), remove the tape from the plug prongs, carefully replace the bulbs, then plug that shit in so it’s all fucking merry and bright. Seriously, the lights seem a hell of a lot brighter on the gold cord than the drab green one. They look fabulous on my black fireplace, but they’ll also look really nice on your Christmas tree, or wherever the hell you plan to hang them.

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I love good whiskey, bad words, red lipstick and gold spray paint.

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