Boozy Roséggs for a Grown-Up Easter

roséggs rosé jello eggsHey, remember last year, when I made fancy, boozy rhubarb jello eggs for Easter? And they were a huge pain in the ass to get out of the molds? And they kind of looked like penis heads? Well, I pretty much swore off doing that ever again, but because I’m a sucker (actually, mostly because I came up with the most amazing name ever) I bought a ton of molds I hated, and trashed my kitchen twice to make Roséggs — rosé jello eggs (with gin, and no actual Jell-O).

Like last year’s fancy-ass eggs, these Roséggs are fucking amazing. Like if frosé and jello shots had an egg baby. But because I can’t seem to make a jello egg that doesn’t look like some part of the human anatomy, the first round I made kind of look liked boobs. Or maybe just breast implants. That’s because this year, I decided to forgo the hard plastic egg-shaped Jell-O molds in favor of silicone candy molds, which create half eggs that are flat on bottom. I got big molds, and little molds, and even some egg-shaped molds with easter egg “design” on them. Unfortunately, I lined the molds with cooking spray, which gave the eggs a weird texture. And the big ones looked like big boobs with weird texture, and the little ones looked like little boobs with weird texture, and everything I tried to take out of then damn “designed” molds just fucking fell apart. So I tried again. For my second round, I poured the entire concoction into a jelly roll pan lined with parchment paper, then cut the eggs out with a small egg-shaped cookie cutter. Getting the pan from the counter to the fridge without a spill was harrowing, but that was definitely the best route (even though I’d skip the parchment next time and just lightly grease the pan).

roséggs rosé jello eggsSadly, I left them out too long during my boozy shoot before getting a good closeup so I don’t have a Glamour Shot, and the ones you see here are my rejects. Oops. Maybe I’ll make them one more time before Easter. Just for the ‘Gram. In the meantime, here I am holding a tray of Roséggs.

roséggs rosé jello eggsI hope I didn’t scare you off there. You should definitely make these Roséggs. How you mold (or cut) them is really player’s choice. You could use the old-fashioned hard molds and get about 18 eggs. Or use big or little silicone molds and get a bunch of boob eggs and put them in cute little wooden spoons like I did (because I always buy them and never have a use for them) or pour your rosé goo into a sheet pan and use a cookie cutter to get your egg shapes. Whatever you do, definitely keep them refrigerated until you’re ready to serve, because if that shit gets too warm, it will melt and you’ll be really fucking sad.

Roséggs – Boozy Rosé Jello Eggs

INGREDIENTS

2 cups strawberry syrup
8 packets powdered gelatin
1 cup fresh-squeezed Meyer lemon juice, strained
¼ cup sugar
1½ cups gin
2 cups brut (or some kind of bubbly) rosé

DIRECTIONS

Spray your egg molds or sheet pan with cooking spray (or lightly grease it since that spray shit leaves a weird texture) and set aside.

Warm the strawberry syrup in a medium saucepan over medium-low heat. Before it reaches a boil, reduce the heat to low and whisk in the gelatin, one packet at a time. Continue to whisk for about 2 to 3 minutes, dissolving as much gelatin as possible. Add the lemon juice, and whisk, then the sugar, and whisk for another minute or two, until the sugar is fully dissolved.

Pour the mixture through a mesh strainer (to catch the clumps of gelatin) into a large mixing bowl. Whisk in the gin, then the rosé. Let the mixture sit for a few minutes so some of the bubbles subside. Then fill the prepared egg molds (or sheet pan) with the liquid mixture.

Refrigerate for 5 hours or overnight, and cross your fingers that shit comes out of whatever mold you use.

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I love good whiskey, bad words, red lipstick and gold spray paint.

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