Easter Crafts + Cocktails at Ça Va

crafts and cocktails event festive as fuck kansas city

Thank you so much to everyone who came out to my very first (SOLD OUT!!!) Crafts + Cocktails event at Ça Va — the most perfect little champagne bar in the Midwest — on Saturday. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking committing to boiling 420 eggs before hand, but I got it done. I mean, my house and car smelled awful for a few days but it was totally worth it. We all got a little drunk at the mimosa bar, made some really cute shit, and had a great time. My only regret is that I didn’t take a selfie because my hair and lipstick looked amazing.

crafts and cocktails event festive as fuck kansas citycrafts and cocktails kansas city festive as fuckcrafts and cocktails event festive as fuck kansas citycrafts and cocktails event festive as fuck kansas cityI promise everyone had fun. At least I think they did. They may look all serious and shit, but that’s just because they were concentrating on their art.

crafts and cocktails event festive as fuck kansas citycrafts and cocktails event festive as fuck kansas citycrafts and cocktails event festive as fuck kansas citySee? Happy crafters!crafts and cocktails event festive as fuck kansas citycrafts and cocktails event festive as fuck kansas city crafts and cocktails event festive as fuck kansas city crafts and cocktails event festive as fuck kansas city crafts and cocktails event festive as fuck kansas citycrafts and cocktails event festive as fuck kansas city crafts and cocktails event festive as fuck kansas city

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Your Easter Brunch Survival Drink: The Morning O

posted in: Cocktails, Easter | 0

mimosa cocktail recipe

Holiday get togethers involving family can be stressful as fuck (which we don’t want, because that’s the opposite of festive as fuck). I know this better than most people. And it should come as no surprise that my not-so-secret weapon in this situation is booze. It doesn’t always work, but I’d say half the time I drink just enough that I’m able to turn the other cheek when my mom starts talking about Obama’s “Muslim tendencies,” and the other half I’m on the verge of flipping the table and throwing plates at the wall. But, hey, at least alcohol gives me about a 50% chance of being pleasant around Barb, and if you know me, you know those are decent odds.

If your family is anything like mine, now is the time to start gathering supplies for The Morning O, an orangey as fuck champagne cocktail-mimosa hybrid. It’s like a mimosa in that it’s made with (fresh!) orange juice and bubbly. But unlike a mimosa, it has bonus booze in the form of orange liqueur. And it’s served on ice. God, I love a bubbly cocktail with ice.

In addition to being good for everyone’s mood, it’s packed with vitamin C, so it’s basically medicine. (I know because I was super hungover on Thursday and then I drank one of these and felt much better after. So there.)

champagne cocktail recipe

The Morning O

INGREDIENTS

2 ounces fresh-squeezed orange juice
1 ounce Grand Marnier
Champagne or prosecco
Orange twist, for garnish*

DIRECTIONS

Add the orange juice and orange liqueur to a stemless wine glass. Add a handful of ice, then top it off with the champagne. Garnish with the orange twist and enjoy!

*Look, I know the orange twist is overkill. It’s totally unnecessary. But twists are just so damn pretty and everything is better in threes, right? And truth be told, I really I just couldn’t come up with a better garnish for this one (except for rosemary, but I used that last week). If you have a better idea, please let me know in the comments!

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Shiny Shit You Can Make: Metallic Sharpie Easter Eggs

posted in: Crafts, Easter, Holidays | 2

metallic sharpie easter eggs

Oh, hi! I’m back with yet another Easter craft — yes, more eggs! — that needs no tutorial. So instead, I’m going to give you some pretty pictures and smart-ass comments and let you take it from there. I mean, isn’t that what lifestyle blogging is all about? Inspiration and aspiration and all that shit? I think so. Fuck. I really hope I’m doing this right.

metallic sharpie easter eggs

Anyway, as you can probably deduce from the pictures and headline, these are metallic Sharpie Easter eggs. You dye eggs, then draw on them with metallic Sharpies. The end. But not really the end. Because I’m going to tell you some more things. Like, that even though I fucking love (like, stupid, ridiculous love) Sharpies, for this project the metallic Bic markers work better. And that metallic markers definitely need a little time to dry, so once you draw on half of an egg, chill the fuck out for, like, five minutes before turning it and decorating the other side. Move on to another egg, or have a drink, or give yourself a cute gold temporary Easter-themed tattoo.

metallic sharpie easter eggs

Also, if you think I freehanded the stripes, you’re sweet. I can’t draw a straight line to save my life, and especially not around a fucking oval. But I love stripes—at least half of my shirts are striped!—so I knew there had to be a way. And there was! I put a small rubber band on the egg to use as a guide. In case you’re wondering how small, think: the rubber band that comes on a bunch of broccolini; turns out it’s also the perfect size for an egg. (And, yes, I realize I just used a colon and a semi-colon in the same sentence. While I’m really starting to question that decision, I think I’m going to roll with it.) Just remember to let that shit dry before you take off the rubber band. (Here’s another Easter-themed temporary tattoo idea to keep you busy while you wait.)

metallic sharpie easter eggs

So, if that’s it, I guess I’ll just leave you with some more aspirational BS like live your best life and be authentic and I believe in you. And drink a green smoothie. Or maybe a matcha latte.

Okay, I’m off to forage my dinner in a chunky neutral sweater and duck boots. Until next time!

metallic sharpie easter eggs

P.S. If you live in Kansas City and want to make these with me while sipping on mimosas, join me for my very first Crafts and Cocktails event on Saturday, April 8 at Ça Va.

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Make Whiskey Sours Great Again With Rhubarb Syrup

posted in: Cocktails, Easter | 1

rhubarb whiskey sourFor most of my drinking career, I turned up my nose at whiskey sours — which is weird considering I love both whiskey and sour flavors. I’m guessing my earliest exposure to the drink must have been at a bro bar (or someplace similar; that part of my life is fuzzy), where it was likely made with a mass-produced sour mix. That shit is gross to me for a few reasons, including the fact it’s probably made with lots of preservatives, but especially because cocktails are so much fucking better with fresh-squeezed citrus juice.

As I learned more about cocktails, however, I came to love the whiskey sour. In its simplest and most unadulterated form, it’s made with whiskey, lemon juice, and superfine sugar. Some people (hello!) like to add egg white.

Of course, I like to fuck with recipes, and a few years ago I got my hands on a bottle of rhubarb syrup from Morris Kitchen in Brooklyn. I replaced the sugar in a whiskey sour with the syrup and — HOLY SHIT — it was maybe one of the best cocktails I’ve ever had. Unfortunately, that stuff seems to be sold out everywhere, all the time. So eventually, I started making my own rhubarb syrup. I’ll be honest: While it’s fucking fantastic, it’s not as good as Morris Kitchen’s. (Just felt like I should let you know that in case you ever come across a bottle. And if you do, buy it. Then please send it to Emily Farris, Kansas City, USA.)

Anyway, you should make this. Rhubarb has a tart flavor, which is perfect for a sweet cocktail syrup. And it’s rhubarb season. That alone is something to celebrate! Just be sure to give yourself some time to make the rhubarb syrup. In fact, it’s probably best to make it a day ahead so it can cool overnight in the fridge.

rhubarb simple syrup recipe

Rhubarb Syrup

Yield: 2 cups

INGREDIENTS

5-6 cups rhubarb, cut into ½-inch pieces
2 cups sugar
2 cups water
2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
Pinch cinnamon
Pinch cardamom

DIRECTIONS

Add the rhubarb, sugar, and water to a medium-size pot over medium to high heat, stirring occasionally. Once it reaches a boil, reduce the heat to a simmer, and add the vinegar, cinnamon and cardamom. Stir, then let the mixture simmer for at least 30 minutes, or up to an hour. The longer it simmers the more syrupy it will become.

Strain into a bottle or mason jar and let it cool to room temperature, then seal and refrigerate. This will keep in the fridge for weeks. But you’ll probably use it all before that. (Also, the mushy stuff leftover in the strainer makes a really great rhubarb jam.)

rhubarb whiskey sour

Rhubarb Whiskey Sour

INGREDIENTS

1½ ounces rye whiskey
1½ ounces lemon juice
1 ounce rhubarb syrup
1 egg white from a small egg (or ½ from a large)
Maraschino cherry for garnish

DIRECTIONS

Add the whiskey, lemon juice, rhubarb syrup, and egg white to a cocktail shaker with a handful of ice. Shake really, really well and strain into a chilled coupe glass. Garnish with a maraschino cherry (or don’t, because they’re fucking disgusting, but so pretty!) and enjoy.

NOTE: If you ever do get your hands on a bottle of the Morris Kitchen rhubarb syrup, use ¾ ounce instead of a full ounce in this cocktail.

ANOTHER NOTE: The easiest way to separate an egg white from the yolk is to crack it into your hand, then separate your fingers a little over a bowl, and gently wiggle your fingers. The white will slip through and the yolk will remain in your hand. Voila!

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Stupid-Easy DIY Pom Pom Easter Basket

posted in: Crafts, Easter, Holidays | 0

DIY pom pom easter basket

In case you haven’t yet noticed, I’m really into easy crafts. And by “easy,” I mean shit people can actually make with limited skills and basic supplies. While there are some amazing crafts that call for power tools and some serious fiber skills, those feel more like big projects, and I don’t have the patience for that shit. But I do love making things—especially for the holidays—and I’ve been really into the pom pom basket trend for a while now. (If you weren’t aware of this trend, here’s one you can buy for $55 at Bloomingdales. And here’s another you can get for $96.)

Because crafting and drinking are my reasons for most any season, and I hate those tacky multi-color plastic baskets that are ubiquitous this time of year, I decided my first pom pom basket project would be for Easter. So I picked up a plain, single-handled basket for $14 at Home Goods and some colorful pom poms at my truly guilty pleasure, Hobby Lobby. (Apparently, most crafters make their own pom poms, but I haven’t knitted anything in years and don’t have a bunch of leftover yarn lying around, so fuck that noise. At least until I change my mind and decide I want to make my own, which I’m sure will happen soon-ish).

DIY pom pom easter basket

Anyway, to make this stupid-easy pom pom Easter basket, you just need a basket, some pom poms, a needle, and thread (and scissors to cut the thread, of course). I used a pretty large needle and thick thread, but that’s just because I had it handy. I think any size would do, though you can be the judge of that depending on your basket.

To start, thread the needle and knot it off at the end. Cut off the tail, then thread the pom pom all the way down to the knot. Sew the pom pom onto the basket, and tie it off in whatever way is the easiest and most inconspicuous. Honestly, mine are all kind of different on this basket, and I’m totally okay with that. I spread the pom poms out sort of willy nilly, but you could go crazy and saturate the entire rim, or just do a group of three on one or two sides.

DIY pom pom easter basketDIY pom pom easter basketDIY pom pom easter basketThe best part is that as long as you live a festive-as-fuck life, this basket is pretty evergreen. So when Easter’s over, you can use it for holding other things, like a picnic blanket and a giant bottle of bourbon. Though now that I think about it, there better be some bourbon in my goddamn Easter basket this year. All that said, if you don’t give a shit about the holiday and would rather just skip right ahead to your own knock-off $96 pom pom seagrass belly basket, you can get that basket at IKEA for $12. You’re welcome.

DIY pom pom easter basket

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